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Ala Gertner
Letter to Sala Garncarz, in German, Bendsburg, Poland, September
24, 1941
NYPL, Dorot Jewish Division, Sala Garncarz Collection
Sarenka [little deer], you giddy girl!
I know, you were disappointed, but I couldn’t help myself.
I know that I spent too little time with you [when you were home],
but you have to understand why. To begin with, the vacation was
short. Then my work, going home, even the bad weather, everything
interfered this time.
But don’t think badly of me, and don’t lose hope.
There is no reason why you shouldn’t trust me. I felt your
reticence quite keenly. There is, Sarenka, no excuse. You are
younger and should have a little more understanding of etiquette
toward your elders. We can’t always say what we want to
say, or all we want to say. In the camp, I protected you and
surrounded you with warmth. You miss my caring, certainly, my
golden precious, but Sosnowitz is different; and besides, I was
in an exceptional position. I hope that you will get to know all
my good sides better—those you know and those you don’t
know yet. Everything in its own time. The next time, Sala.
But now you have to be a good girl. Don’t cry and pout.
Who can and will understand me, if you act in such a foolish way?
You’re silent—why? Write what you think, including
the most minute details. Don’t be afraid, I always think
of your release, just be patient.
I have remained the same Ala, even though I have so many possibilities
and opportunities to become someone else. I am amazed myself:
to be as attached to the camp as I am, is rare. Believe me, Sarenka,
I am very sorry that you couldn’t stay with me. Do you remember
the hours on Saturday when you came into my bed early in the morning?
We amused and puzzled [everybody]. You wrote very well about how
you feel about the camp. Sarenka, are you still in such a pessimistic
mood? I consider myself lucky to have so much work. In this way,
day after day passes quickly....
Sarenka, keep trusting me. I kiss you, as always, you beautiful
girl. Give regards to all the women. Write me, clearly and in
detail, okay? I ordered skin cream for you, I’ll send it
together with the photos the next time.
Yours, Ala
